YOU ARE PRETTY

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“When life gives you darkness, make moon water.”

©January Pink

Inside a dream cloud

Starlight dribbles through my hair

And into my eyes

©January Pink

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“I am a hopepunk humanist. I believe in seeing not only the best in humanity, but also all the magic remaining in the world.”

-January Pink

WHY AM I A HOPEPUNK HUMANIST?
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TW: Abuse, substance abuse, self-harm, PTSD, suicide, mental illness, eating disorders

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By the time I turned 18, my life had been filled with nonstop trauma. I entered the adult world with a warped mind filled with rage. Every cruel word that came out of my mouth was a confession in disguise as to how much I truly hated myself. I was addicted to self-harm and struggled with alcohol abuse. I hallucinated on a regular basis and had constant paranoia that others would harm me. I knew something was very wrong with me and sought out mental health services, but everything I tried didn’t fix it.

For years, I alienated the good people in my life with my poor behavior and drifted from one sexually abusive relationship to another while living a separate life in my head through 24/7 dissociation. I frequently considered suicide and couldn’t picture a life for myself past my 20s.

Later on, what I now know had originally been severe C-PTSD resulted in my life falling apart after a period of sudden, prolonged trauma. My mind was shattered, but I did my best to pick up the pieces and chose to dedicate myself to healing from everything that had happened in my life.

With the support of a mental health team that was right for me, I learned for the first time about the way my mind worked and relearned how to exist in this world. I worked tirelessly to reshape my thinking, my interactions with others, and my view of myself. It took many years and there were plenty of setbacks, but today, I am a completely different person, and I finally know who I am.

I am a hopepunk humanist because I want everybody else to be able to have the same happy ending that I have achieved, the same blessings that I have been given, and I believe that one day, it will be possible as long as we can take accountability for ourselves and learn to care about each other. Every single person can come out the other side, and I want to give others hope that that’s possible for them, too.

If there’s one thing I learned during my own journey, it’s that everybody has trauma. We all struggle. We all are broken to some extent in our own way. But we all still feel love, and joy, and sadness, and anger, and we all have things that can help us keep going or get us out of bed in the morning.

My hope is that what I create can do that for someone, anyone. That it can make them feel happy, even if it’s fleeting. Maybe, possibly, it could even convince someone to put down the bottle of pills, knife, or belt and give them a reason to see another sunrise, as I know the stories and art I’ve loved had done that for me during the darkest times of my life.

I love you and I support you.

All the best,

January Pink

**If you or someone you know is contemplating or planning suicide or self-harm, the below resources can help:

-Dial 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You can also text them on your phone by texting to 988 or chat with them online.

-If someone has already attempted, is planning to attempt, or the situation is life-threatening, please dial 911 or your country’s emergency services number.

This is the National Institute of Health (NIH) page on suicide prevention and recognition of who could be at risk of suicide.

This is a database where you can find therapists and psychiatrists in your area. You can filter for ones that take your insurance as well as for specific issues and mental health problems so that you can find one who is the right fit. Many different countries participate in this database.

Remember: there has only been one version of you that has ever existed, and that is the you that exists now. You are truly unique and have everything to offer this world no matter who you are. We want you here with us. Please utilize these resources if you need them.

**For drug use:

To prevent death from overdose, while using you can call Never Use Alone at the below number:

877-696-1996

If you overdose, the hotline will report an “unresponsive person” to EMS instead of a drug overdose for the purpose of harm reduction. They will not ask you to go to rehab or judge you for using.

**For sexual assault/sexual violence:

If you are being/have been harmed by someone, you can call the below number at the National Sexual Assault Hotline:

1-800-656-4673

RAINN also has a live chat service on their website, if you’re not comfortable talking on the phone.